Karly always made you smile.
She was exuberant, expressive, endearing.
Contented loving baby & toddler.
Humorous, busy preschooler & happy in her junior years.
Karly was a joy to be with, animated expressions, both verbally & physically, she could have won an academy award!
As a young girl, Karly did experience separation anxiety to going new places (i.e. going to camp with her siblings). Once she arrived she overcame her anxiousness and was really happy when she got there. She was just out there with her feelings, not hiding or secretive. I believe most people feel that way but do not show it.
In her preteens, she became restless, contradictory, somewhat troubled, curious, unpredictable, which was, I thought, because of her age it was understandable.
She was internally fighting battles with exaggerated feelings & behaviours. On her journey as a young woman approaching marriage, she was reading a lot, trying to understand herself & found the book “You don’t have to feel this way”. She recognized herself.
what happened
She called me. We immediately sought professional help. I had never heard about Bipolar Disorder. We began to learn everything we could about it, At the first Doctor was exceptional, he was the one who explained to me, “Karly is not a bad girl trying to get good, she is an ill girl trying to get well.”
He had prescribed Lithium for her, which seemed to be helping & she felt it was too. Apparently the only side affect was weight concerns. He was caring, communicating & available. She had to leave him, as he was too far away to travel.
It appears to have been a big mistake. Would it have changed the course of events? I do not know. We were all struggling.
The trick then becomes getting the right meds. The right personal dosage, continually & diligently monitoring them, adjusting continually as the effects can continually change over time. Being aware of the dangers and recognizing that this is a life long “management program” is important. People close to you accept and understand that this is a chemical need, not bad behaviour.
At first she seemed to be doing well on her meds, but when she had to change Doctors at some point she became addicted to prescription medication. Her behaviour escalated and she began to not seek professional help. She was shamed.
As I understood & heard at one point after her death, her primary Doctor had stated “I don’t think she is bi-polar, I think she has a personality disorder which is not treatable..” Of course, someone with a drug addiction could appear that way. Mistakes were made every step of the way, with tragic consequences. Do you just give up? No.
I was on board, always reading medical books on drugs. Their intent and interactions hi-lighted what she was taking. I went to the pharmacy and showed the pharmacist, who just shook her head & told me to talk to her Doctor. I tried to elevate the issues. I was in Doctors offices. I was sending faxes. I was at the hospital day program screaming at the chief of psychiatry on the phone. They told me to stop yelling, I was setting a bad example for her.
Karly waited in a locked room by herself. They released her after speaking with her a short period of time without letting me know. I only found out because I phoned to find out how she was & they told me she had been released.
She was dead shortly after that.
I became numb. I still do not understand how this happened. I realized now that this was and is a much bigger problem, more than I could ever have understand.
Now, “my Karly”, this is the 20th anniversary of your angel date. It appears that opiod deaths are much worse today. I have never gotten over loosing you. I have moved forward, but I remember you always, your smile; your frown; and all your expressions. You lived your life on this planet with me, as my daughter, as a sister, a wife & friend to many, trying to do your best always,
In Karly’s Memory
The purpose of this site is in your memory Karly and also to raise awareness to the challenges of mental illness, treatment options, dangers of opioids, unmonitored medications and to discuss possible solutions.
