You died at 29, way too soon. I believe you had happy times, lots of them.  You had extreme highs and lows that were so confusing to you.  You fought so hard to understand.  

 As your Mom, I knew you.  The day you came into my life was sheer joy.  I had unbiased and unconditional love for you.  You were loving, emotional, kind, extremely sensitive & empathetic.  No doubt you had all the negative emotions we all endure as humans, I am not making you into a Saint, just because you are gone, just an Angel.

 Then this disorder, illness or brain behaviour that took over and became worse with the “mess” of meds prescribed.  The criticism, abandonment, isolation and cruelty that hurt you and hurt me to watch beyond belief.  You tried so hard.  I tried too. No one would listen.  They just gave out more pills and got angry when you became dependant. 

 After you died, I wrote a paper on “a possible solution” to drug/medication deaths, from my experiences with our journey.  It is focused on Medication Monitoring.  I sent it to everyone I could think of that could make a difference.  I only received a short note from Deb Matthews, the Minister of Health in Ontario.  She offered her condolences on losing you and advised she had shared the letter with appropriate ministry staff in the Ontario Public Drug Programs (OPDP) for their information and consideration. 

I never heard anymore after that.

Our family as you knew it, has splintered irreparably.  Kelly and Pieter, JJ and Erin,  their families, myself an you are your family now.   You have two amazing nephews, Jack and William.  Hershey, Cooper & Tipper are your fur relatives too.

You are still with us everyday.  

I want to believe that God, has his loving arms around you now and that I will see you again, not for a while though.